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I wouldn’t quite consider myself a lemming, but I’m pretty alarmed by recent reports of suicidal cows.
Perhaps it’s due to my perfectionist nature, but I’ve always been the type of person who throws theirself into everything full force. I do this even to my own detriment. I rarely do something halfway and it was the knowledge of such that led me to believe that, given sufficient talent, I had the drive to succeed in anything I wanted.
But lately I’ve found it increasingly difficult to stay focused. I’ve been sidetracked by health, personal problems, and that wonderfully fickle little thing known as “life”.
Watch out for falling cows
It’s taken some time for me to realize this but I’m beginning to see the importance of it all. Is it not adversity that makes us stronger? The mountain that is hardest to climb, the one with the precipice most shear, often has the greatest summit.
I’ve always been a firm believer that while we cannot control the things that happen to us, we can control our reactions to them. So when faced with adversity, what do we do?
In the interest of my OCPD, I made a list. So here are ten ways to surviving all that life throws at you…
- Don’t throw yourself off a cliff.
- Keep things in perspective.
- Remember that Tupac was a god.
- Remember that Aaliyah was a goddess.
- Get into a routine
- Become your own drill sergeant.
- Lemons can hurt you.
- Set some goals.
- Figure out where you want to go.
- Now get yourself some evil minions…
And don’t fall off one, either. Okay, so cows and lemmings don’t really commit suicide. They fall when in strange territory or perhaps even due to overcrowding. No one knows for sure. But what we do know is they follow others ad often do this en masse, so if you do you’re likely to bring others with you.
No, seriously.
It’s not the end of the world.
It could always be worse.
No, really. It isn’t. No matter what it seems like now, you will live to fight another day. Unless you already threw yourself off of said cliff, in which case this blog is irrelevant.
Okay, no. And I’m certainly not claiming he was the God. But he did leave behind some immortal words. So when the going gets tough just remember “Keep your head up, legs closed, eyes open.”
Yup.
Okay, this one I happen to agree with. “If at first you don’t succeed, then dust yourself off and try again.”
Beautiful Aaliyah
Preferably one that doesn’t involve this:
Most disturbing picture ever!
Yes, sir! Or ma’am! Stop wallowing around in pity and get up off your lazy butt. You have more at stake here than anyone else. It’s time for some self-motivation, so get up and get moving.
Sir, yes sir!
They say that when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. But if you hold on to those lemons too long they start to burn you. They don’t meant to do it – it’s just in their nature to be acidic. So don’t hold them. Squeeze those suckers and drink it up. Or even better, put up a stand on the corner and sell it to someone else. No go make some lemonade!
See? They don't really mean it. They aren't like tomatoes.
Note: This should not be confused with lemmingade. Don’t make the same mistake I did.*
Do this.
And how to get there.
Turn left at the lazy dog.
…because it’s time to take over the world!
Also tastes good with peanut butter
*If you think I was serious about the lemmingade, then you are one sick, sick puppy.
